Book excerpt: G'day from the land downunder, the land of grouse-looking sheilas, sunshine, the long weekend and the best beer in the world. Aussies have enjoyed magnificent isolation for over two hundred years. We've never really bothered about keeping up with the rest of the globe. And as a result, we've got a language all our own. But now Paul Hogan has gone and blown the best-kept secret in the universe. We're copping hordes of tourists on our doorstep every day. And our own billy lids are learning a different language that we can't understand. It's time we all got back to basics. And that's why we've published this literary masterpiece – which will be a great reference source for travellers and new settlers in our great land, too.