Book excerpt: Everyone who's watched American Pie knows about MILFs, but have you ever heard of a DILF? You have now. DILF: CONFESSIONS OF A SEXY DAD covers topics such as jorts, Honey Boo Boo and the Pittsburgh Steelers. Even when more controversial subjects such as drugs and religion are discussed, DILF - Yours Truly - maintains his sense of humor. DILF is built around three stories. The first is "Forbidden Fruit," the story of Adam and Eve told as if Adam's gay partner Steve lived with them in Eden. The second is "Bed Buddies," about a modern-day couple trying an open marriage, and the third is "A Family Affair," a potboiler about a woman whose family secret comes back to haunt her. Anyway, I'd say more but the ol' ball and chain is telling me to wrap it up. Apparently our kitty made a number two, and the litter box isn't going to clean itself. Clearly my wife didn't get the sexy dad memo. Just do me a favor and check out the preview. That says you need to know, thanks.