Book excerpt: * Dubbed the "Mother Lode of Laughs" by People magazine, Maxine boasts her own fan club and licensed merchandise sales. Never afraid of telling it like it is, or at least how it should be, Maxine is a lean, mean, griping machine lambasting everything from fast food to feng shui. Complete with over-the-top one-liners and classic Maxine rants, this hilarious humor collection offers something for every closet curmudgeon. * "Start each day off on the right foot, unless you kick better with your left." * "The world is going to hell in an SUV, and whoever is driving is too busy talking on a cell phone to notice."