Book excerpt: Stuffed full of Xmas magic and stomach churning ultra-violence, it's THE HUNGER GAMES garroted with fairy lights and force fed to THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS! The devil only wants to be adored, and thinks that remaking himself as "Satan Claus" will win the hearts of the world's children. From dictator of Hell to beloved myth of childhood, it's certainly an ambitious career change. He totally fucks it up. Trying to set things right, he invites children from every country in the world to the North Pole to take part in a contest, a scavenger hunt, with the winners becoming his little helpers on Xmas Eve. With Adolf the Red-Nosed Reichdeer and his army of dwarf Elvis Presley clones helping, it's bound to be a success... Except for one problem. All the kids are armed to the teeth. And all the kids want to kill him.