Book excerpt: Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child guides adoptive parents in promoting a child's emotional and social adjustment, from the family's first hours together through the teen years. It explains how to help an adopted child cope with the ''Big Change,'' bond with new parents, become part of a family, and develop a positive self-image that incorporates both American identity and ethnicity origins. Parents waiting to meet their adoptive children will appreciate Cogen's advice about preparing for the trip and handling the first meeting. The author's main focus, though, is the child's adaptation over the next months and years. Cogen explains how to deal with the child's ''mixed maturities''; how (and why) to tell the child's story from the child's point of view; how to handle sleep problems and resistance to household rules; and how to encourage eye contact and ease transitions and separations. The reassuring narrative tone and the breadth and depth of information make this the most substantive and accessible book available and an indispensable resource for parents who adopt, professionals who advise adoptive parents, and teachers of adoptive children