Book excerpt: A bumper book bursting with jokes, anecdotes, insults, activities and silly verses about school life. Laugh your itchy, grey regulation socks off at vile canteen meals, playground mayhem, beastly bullies and terrible teachers! Pupil: There's a dead fly in my soup! Dinner lady: What do you expect in school dinners? A live one?! Q: Why did the art teacher take a pencil to bed? A: Because she wanted to draw the curtains.