Book excerpt: "Forget Baby Love. The Chaser has written the definitive guide to parenting in the modern age. Jam packed with 100 pages of spurious information. Including- - Why you shouldn't become a parent in the first place? - How to get pregnant- turning sex into something dull and lifeless - Pregnancy Wine Guide - 9 months of bliss- one woman's infuriatingly unrepresentative experience of pregnancy - Who needs sleep- The first six months - The Toddler Years- A guide to making money on Instagram by exploiting the cuteness of your child - Pre-school- An illustrated guide to making your partner do most of the work - Primary School age- The Best (Drug-Free) Years of Their Life - High School- How to Apply for Special Consideration - Will They Ever Move Out? A Guide to Your Child's 20s and 30s. - Middle-Age- Why everything wrong with their lives is your fault Also includes a bonus do-it-yourself Last Will and Testament, to let you cut your children out of their inheritance in 3 easy steps!"