Book excerpt: FIVE FUNNY WOMEN - PORTLAND OREGON - THEN AND NOW. . . In 1936 five kindergarteners walked into Ockley Green Grade School - and into each other's lives. Graduation from Jefferson High in 1948 sent them their separate ways until they met again at the 50th class reunion -- and every year thereafter for a week at the beach. "Shortly after that first week at the beach, we took to calling ourselves 'The Yayas' due to a book which hit the bestseller list about that time and later became a movie. We, of course, are the real Yayas and they are obviously fakes - a bunch of southern women with too much time on their hands who drink mint juleps and throw their underwear off tall buildings. We ourselves would never do such a thing but is no doubt the reason Hollywood producers aren't knocking down our door." Lois, the author, well knows she is the bad apple in the bunch. Says so herself. "Well, that's just how it is with me. A person who often sees things other people pay no attention to. A person who often sees things differently than others. And lets it bother her. Like the horses at Petra. Like Sissy Austin's birthday party. Like the way I react to Joan. Like the way I'm wondering why this last reunion is different from our other reunions, and why I'm having a hard time about it." "Joan, by all accounts, mine included, is a wonderful mother and grandmother. She knows how to fold fitted sheets and butters the bread out to the edges. Joan never comes to a Yaya function without a little gift for each of us. The other four of us never bring one damn thing. Wherein lies part of the problem I have with Joan." "Beverly is definitely our Leader. She was the Queen Bee when we were little and still is. Of course, she is the oldest in our group but it goes beyond that. Bev has an ability that somehow ends up with her calling the shots and getting things her way." "Doris' state of mind is a red flag flying. Last winter she failed to appear for our Christmas lunch, having gotten confused and lost. This spring at our reunion-planning meeting she didn't show again, having gotten her dates mixed up, so she said. She has moved into assisted living and uses a walker now." "Elaine's been breathing the rarified air of academia for so many years that it takes her awhile after landing at PDX to get her bearings. Sometimes we have to help her. We beat her up and remind her that she is a North Portland girl, same as us." ABOUT THE AUTHOR After 48 nomadic corporate years in Seattle, Los Angeles, Pittsburgh, St. Louis and New York City, Lois Gaither Nelson Hallock returned to her roots, settling along the Columbia River with her second/other husband, Robert. "If you come looking for me," she says, "start with a body of water."