Book excerpt: The bright, funny and wild story of an acrobat from Hamburg who decided to become the King of Albania, succeeded, and fell in love along the way Otte Witte is an old man. The Allies are raining bombs on his city and, having narrowly escaped death, he has come home to his little caravan to drink what remains of his coffee (dust) and wait for the inevitable. Convinced that he will not see the sunrise, he decides to write the story of his life for the poor soul who finds what's left of him come the morning. And it's quite a story. Years earlier, when he was in either Buda or Pest, working in the circus, a dear friend showed him a newspaper article: Albania was searching for a long-lost Turkish prince to be the new king. The Turkish prince was the image of Otto. . . A plan was formed; adventure, disaster, love and sheer, unabashed hope followed. If You're Reading This, I'm Already Dead is a joy to read; accomplished and full of the warmth, honesty and lightness of touch for which Andrew Nicoll is known and loved.