Book excerpt: Philip Ardagh's Book of Kings, Queens, Emperors and Rotten Wart-Nosed Commons is hilarious collection of fantastic trivia and amazing facts about royalty and rulers of all kinds throughout history, all from the very witty pen of Philip Ardagh. PARP!" Pssst! Do you know the story about Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1603) and the, er, farting courtier? One day, when bowing low to Her Majesty, the Earl of Oxford couldn't help but break wind. The poor man felt SO embarrassed that he left the court - and some say the country - for SEVEN years. Upon his return, after such a long absence, the first thing Good Queen bess said on seeing him was, "Lord, I had forgot the fart!