Book excerpt: This book is a collection of my all-time favorite stories from working with patients as a medical professional over the past seventeen years. I have witnessed and been a part of some amazing experiences ranging from hilarious to shocking to just plain disgusting. I've told these stories many times at family gatherings, parties, and in conversations with friends. After much encouragement, I took the time to write them down before they became distant memories. Each chapter of this book is dedicated to a specific incident, which should give the reader an inside look into the often entertaining world of a health care provider. The names, of course, have been changed to protect the innocent, but I didn't leave out or alter any of the colorful details.