Book excerpt: Do you have a healthy mental attitude and a positive outlook on life? Good for you. This means you are in the right frame of mind. But if you don’t, this means you are in the left frame of mind, and this is not so good. The left frame of mind is the wrong frame of mind. It means you have a Leftist Brain. And having a Leftist Brain means you are doomed to languish wretchedly in the left frame of mind mindset forever. Sorry. I don’t make up the rules. And life isn’t fair. That’s right. Once a Leftist Brain, always a Leftist Brain. And although leftist brains may come in a wide variety of flavors, historical classifications and toxicity, there is no fundamental difference between a Soviet communist Leftist Brain and a Wisconsin Democrat Leftist Brain. It is merely a matter of degree of Leftist Brain brainedness. For you see in the final analysis, all leftist brains share the following three basic characteristics: 1) Collectivism is good, individualism is bad. The Leftist Brain hungers for overprotective parental government promoting childlike dependency. It expects the State to run or regulate everything, from daycare to retirement. It doesn’t care that this cradle-to-grave infantilization undermines individuals’ freedoms, subverts their self-reliance and deters their self-determination. As long as assurance is given that this is being done in the name of “equality,” a wonderful sounding ideal that doesn’t exist in nature, all is forgiven. 2) Coercion is superior to voluntary cooperation. The Leftist Brain is magically drawn to policies and systems that restrict the individual’s freedom to choose. It does not trust voluntary action or believe in spontaneous order through mutual agreement because it does not understand human nature. Nor does it feel comfortable letting unique individuals (also known as “the masses”) decide things for themselves. They might not have “the greater good” in mind. This is why the Leftist Brain restricts free choice at every opportunity. This is why it is always prepared to call for government coercion. For the Leftist Brain, “the ends justify the means” and it only respects the rule of law if it is “interpreted” in the way it deems fit. 3) Sense of mission. The Leftist Brain sees itself as a chosen one “on the right side of history.” It is superior to ordinary brains that can never enjoy this higher, enlightened status. Believing this serves the psychological function of bolstering what is typically the weak self-esteem of a brain that is ungenerous and therefore unhappy. Its feigned altruism hides a lack of empathy that often leads to pronounced narcissist tendencies. Unchecked, these tendencies eventually lead to nihilism (narcissism and nihilism being functionally equivalent). This helps explain why the Leftist Brain is always so eager to resort to hysterical outbursts, violence and destruction. So, here we are. Unfortunately. We now live in a Leftist Brain world. They are in control, I am sorry to say. And this world is of course very far from the world the framers of the Constitution originally intended. Instead of thriving in a political system that protects individual liberties through the exercise of negative rights (don’t do this, don’t do that), the Leftist Brain’s eternal quest for its arbitrary “greater good” means we must endure coercive government direction through the exercise of positive rights (do this, do that). We must do as we are told, in other words. We are now indentured servants to the State. The following is a collection of thoughts and observations about the nature of the Leftist Brain, and our captivity. Most of them are meant to be humorous, although it cannot be denied that this type of humor may be seen as a subversive, bitter form of humor that is often cynical rather than laugh-out-loud funny. This is because it is a subversive, bitter form of humor that is often cynical rather than laugh-out-loud funny. Have a nice day anyway.