Book excerpt: Journey through these memoirs with Johnny as he describes a world fraught with danger, mystery and questionable hygiene. With each page, he draws us deeper into his enigmatic realm as the truth behind each tale is unveiled. Setting the stage for the three novellas in this collection, "The Prequel" chronicles his astonishing rise to fame. How, during an unforgettable contest at Achmed's kebab shop in south London, he achieved notoriety by devouring two doner kebabs in a jaw-dropping one minute and fifty-nine seconds, after already having downed thirteen pints of lager. Next, his courage and resourcefulness are put to the test when he becomes entangled in an investigation into the murder of a Conservative MP, during which, he uncovers a sinister terrorist plot by a Cornish separatist group which propels him into a race against time to thwart a devastating attack. Finally, his strangest investigation yet leads him into the eccentric realm of alternative therapies. He comes face to face with the ghost of a former British prime minister, and together they must unravel the mystery of a series of brutal murders. In these pages, the 'conscious vigilante' opens up in a way he has never done before about realising the true power of the human spirit. He reveals what drives him and how his philosophy underpins his determination to vanquish evil. Brace yourself as you join Johnny Two Kebabs while he metes out justice on the mean streets of south London.