Book excerpt: SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY, HUMOR * Cranky Goblin Cooks * Unscrupulous Chemists * Lecherous Space Pirates * Disagreeable Alien Symbiotes * Soul-Searching Snot Elementals The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny. zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch. Jim Hines reimagines a Game of Thrones with goblins in it, Ken Liu begs a sentient AI to spare him, and Esther Friesner takes us on a tour of Chelm, complete with dragons and gratuitous footnotes. There are also tales of an interdimensional secret agent, a warrior-writer on a quest from an evil god, a necromancer intent on rehabilitating the image of his profession, and many more. TABLE OF CONTENTS Foreword by Alex Shvartsman “A Game of Goblins” by Jim C. Hines “The Breakdown of Parasite/Host Relationship” by Paul R. Hardy “From This She Makes a Living?” by Esther Friesner “Twenty-Nine Responses to Inquiries About My Craigslist Post: Alien Spaceship for Sale $200, You Haul” by Tina Connolly “Tyler the Snot Elemental Scours the Newspaper, Searching for Change” by Zach Shephard “Agent of Chaos” by Jack Campbell “Display of Affection” by P. J. Sambeaux “The Great Manhattan Eat-Off” by Mike Resnick “An Evil Opportunity Employer” by Lawrence Watt-Evans “Common Scents” by Jody Lynn Nye “A Mountain Man and a Cat Walk into a Bar” by Alan Dean Foster “Lost and Found” by Laura Resnick “A Crawlspace Full of Prizes” by Bill Ferris “Return to Sender” by Melissa Mead “The Friendly Necromancer” by Rod M. Santos “An Open Letter to the Sentient AI Who Has Announced Its Intention to Take Over the Earth” by Ken Liu “Approved Expense” by David Vierling “Alexander Outland: Space Jockey” by Gini Koch “Dear Joyce” by Langley Hyde “Impress Me, Then We’ll Talk About the Money” by Tatiana Ivanova (translated from Russian by Alex Shvartsman)