Book excerpt: In this classic parody, Thomas Hill presents the testosterone-inspired answer to the best-seller What to Expect When You're Expecting. * This completely revised and updated edition of the best-selling parody humorously guides fathers-to-be through nine months of 21st-century baby preparations. Complete with weird baby names, tips on how to avoid a sympathetic pregnancy, and a discourse on the evolution of ESPN and the role it plays postdelivery, Hill's tome has been thoroughly revised to account for not only the usual father-to-be questions but also the often baffling and amusing technological and medical advances awaiting today's four million expectant dads. * This hilarious month-by-month guide offers new and veteran dads solace, laughter, and a bit of useful information, including a question-and-answer chapter covering basics like How much does having a baby cost?; visual charts assessing such things as the breakdown behind the mom-to-be's weight gain; sidebars covering common wife complaints and anticipated purchases; and much more.