Book excerpt: Kids just love the holiday season and they enjoy celebrating their own way. Some kids love the more traditional countdown calendars while the cooler kids know that there is only one way to countdown to Christmas and that is the farty way. Timmie Guzzmann the author of the First Farting Advent Calendar knows because he is a kid himself and there is one thing that he even does better than farting and that is picking up trends because he loves to listen to his pals & the other kids at school. Lately he picked up lots of kid conversations where kids all around him just told him that they are annoyed by these lame chocolate countdown calendars that their parents have been giving them for years. Timmie had an epiphany right at the spot and that is how the fart calendar was born. He teamed up with his good friend Randolph Meretzenischt from poetry class to form a team of unbeatable fart rhyming artists. They got together and shared some crazy fart ideas and put them into fun and rhyming poetry à la Dr. Seuss. Timmie the fart expert shared some cheerful ideas how farts can be transformed into the Christmas season and Randolph transformed Timmie's Christmas fart disgust into cheerful & seasonal greeting type of poetry that sounds like Christmas fart poetry world class. Timmie, the fart expert, and Randolph, the poet, got together with Hawk Henninger who joined their foreces and popped out some smelly illustrations on top of the rhymes. As mentioned above, this countdown fart Christmas calendar is only for the cool kids (no wussies allowed) because if it is not a fart calendar it is just a calendar. This holiday season will become so much more fun & exciting because this smelly Christmas countdown calendar offers 25 hilarious farty Christmas carols that are even fun to read out loud... + Dogs Are Really Just Big Jerks! Vol. 3 and the list goes like this: Why Dogs Can Be Real Jerks Sometimes Jerky Treats Better Than Celery Sticks The Pesky Perk Pee Wee Herman ...