Book excerpt: Am I different? Yeah. Deep down, you know you want to wear wider bottoms; you're just not secure enough. . . . Do I do my hair with a weed whacker? I admit it." --Rep. James Traficant (D-Ohio, 1985-2002) Supposedly some of our brightest speakers, politicians say some pretty stupid things. Members of America's major political parties put out a roaring stream of downright dumb comments, pronouncements, and observations. For proof, look no further than Ted Rueter's 449 Stupid Things Republicans Have Said and 449 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said. 449 Stupid Things Republicans Have Said includes subjects ranging from cloning and federal spending to foreign affairs and kissing. Asked what he and former British Prime Minister Tony Blair have in common, President George W. Bush remarked, "Well, we both use Colgate toothpaste." According to then-Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, "If you set aside Three Mile Island and Chernobyl, the safety record of nuclear energy is really very good."; Rueter catches the best of the best, whether the gaffes came from Bob Dole, Trent Lott, Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Strom Thurmond. The Dems fair little better in 449 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said. Al Gore said, "I would have kissed Tipper longer at the convention." Hillary Rodham Clinton, during a 2000 campaign interview with Hot 97, a Manhattan hip-hop radio station, stated; "Motown, Motown: That's my era. Those are my people." Rueter snags them all and provides two wonderful collections of quotations that will truly go down in history.