Book excerpt: A funny collection of football poems by Brian Bilston, the unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. Perfect for football fans of all ages – from the young footie fanatic to a been-to-every-game-grandma, and every 'I could've been a pro' in between. Full of poems that will make you giggle about all things football, including being left out of the World Cup squad, mum's opinion on Messi vs Ronaldo, or those unmissable fixtures: I’d love nothing more than to go outside and spend time with Mother Nature. But what can I do? It’s out of my hands: Nigeria are playing Croatia 50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems includes witty chants, a haiku or two, and fun shape poems about the beautiful game. Laugh together through the Euros or Premier League games, and swap the half-time pundits for puns! 'Bilston is a magician with words' – Guardian 'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' – The Times