Book excerpt: America was discovered by a few Norwegians who got lost while sailing to Greenland. Had they established a permanent settlement, America might be the United States of Wine-Land. In 1492, Columbus gave the men of San Salvador shiney glass beads, and their women gave his crew syphillus. Who took advantage of whom? If not for the defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588, America today would likely be Spanish and Catholic. Early English explorers were pirates of the Caribbean, and early American colonists were illegal immigrants. The first English colony in America was a lot like Gongral Motore, and the husband of Pocahontas was responsible for lung cancer and slavery in the south. More recently, Teddy Roosevelt and his "Rough Riders" had to run up San Juan Hill--someone forgot to transport their horses! So how did America become the greatest nation on earth? Read my book.