Book excerpt: Enjoy the humorous adventures of the individuals and creatures of the family of the timberland. Hear the screams from Bloody Bottom as the Watchueetoo tribe attacks the settlers at Bloody Bottom. Who was Chief Little Big Toe's and did he really come back as Big Tom? Who now roams Bloody Bottom and the Timberland? Discover about Utickan, that big fat whoot owl, who looks just like Scarlet Ohara's nanny in Gone With the Wind. Read how she keeps all the animals in the barn yard under control as well as individuals on the old farm. Find out who won the wrestling match of the year at Bloody Bottom between Little Th ree Feathers and Albert, "Hilltop Grave Side", as he is called because this 7'2" Cyclops puts his opponents in the grave. Listen as Alexandria Hoosenhow, the female leader of the geese tries to get our four year boy, part of the family, family jewels, it will become another war in the barnyard. Laugh as you find out about a gargoyle Valentine's day, and these statues of gargoyles come alive and roam the earth.