Book excerpt: Diaries celebrating a dog's joy at owning a human, by the most famous dog in Britain. Buster has written these diaries himself - whenever he could remember where he hid the manuscript in his garden. In it he lays bear the truth of how The Man has held Buster back, pretending to protect fur and feathers. Buster's last book was an instant bestseller and, outrageously, The Man took all the credit. To add insult to injury, there were no extra biscuits. Worse, The Man forced Buster to eat low-fat ones, while he himself continued to eat lots of chocolate ginger nuts. Despite The Man's best efforts, Buster still gets into lots of scrapes, and, although his sight and hearing are failing somewhat, he still wants to 'go courting' - especially in springtime. Buster remains unaware of what happened that day at the vet's, and no one will explain it to him, but they continue to allude to something. On a visit to Ireland a gentleman tapped his nose and said to The Man, 'You can't fool me. I've worked it out. You wrote the book.' Buster was so upset by this vile calumny that he wanted to give the gentleman a good nip. Then he remembered the words of someone called Robert Kennedy who The Man goes on about: 'Don't get angry. Get even.' And he has. And this time it's personal. As Buster says, 'No more Mr Nice Dog.'