Book excerpt: Many churches, even those that are well-intentioned, are often girl-denying places. Weaving together theological, psychological, and biblical sources. Hess examines how theologies of self-sacrifice thwart both the spiritual and the psychological development of women by subverting their necessary self-assertion. The importance of self-differentiation and cognitive autonomy and of caring and connection are discussed, using as illustrations biblical stories, excerpts from novels, and an in-depth look at eating disorders.