Book excerpt: #1 New York Times Bestseller This brilliantly original and practical system for parenting children is the brainchild of John Gray, whose Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus books and seminars have helped millions of adults communicate more effectively and lovingly with each other. Based on this idea that children respond better to positive rather than negative reinforcement, the Children Are from Heaven program concentrates on rewarding, not punishing, children and fostering their innate desire to please their parents. Central to this approach are the five positive messages your children need to learn again and again: It's okay to be different. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to express negative emotions. It's okay to want more. It's okay to say no, but remember Mom and Dad are the bosses.