Book excerpt: Oy veh! If this book chronicles Julietta's Appleton's first 50 years, one can only imagine the sequel! Julietta's mother died when she was nine. Her father, a blacklisted Hollywood screenwriter, sent his daughter to 17 different schools in the U.S. and Europe, including Catholic boarding schools. Julietta has lived in 36 different homes in 6 different countries, and developed a witty and keen sense of observation along the way. She survived her mother's peculiar health practices, grooved through the '60s without any permanent damage, raised and sent kids off to college, lived through the detonation of her marriage, and endured life in the suburbs as a single woman. A car accident in 1996 left her with a mild but permanent brain injury and chronic pain. And as if that were not enough, her fiancé of two months died suddenly of a heart attack just as the two were beginning a new life together. And yet, Julietta manages to find humor in everyday life-sex toys, hurricanes, chocolate, dating, and senile dementia are just some of her targets. She is wickedly funny, naughty, and provocative. Clothing Optional will make you laugh through your tears and cry through your laughter.