Book excerpt: Relationships are hard enough to negotiate without advice from outsiders who don’t know you at all. This book is not a “how-to” aimed at attaining the ideal. Rather, it is a how-it-is, an exploration of how relationships are, how they develop, how they deteriorate, how they may end and how they may even revive. Strange as it may seem, it is not a book about how individual human beings are. It doesn’t concern itself with individual human failings. Those failings are given in being human. Instead, it describes the potentials for joy, disappointment and burden that are intrinsic to relationship and by extension to the process of becoming fully human. In a world obsessed with attaining an illusory ideal, becoming fully human is the greatest threat.