Book excerpt: Steven F. Gray II spent his life in a living Hell. Being abused, rejected, and imprisoned multiple times instilled in him an unquenchable rage that came within inches of destroying him and everyone he had ever loved. For years, God stood at the door and knocked, but it wasn't until he was completely desperate and ready to die that he answered to let Jesus Christ into his life. Steven lived through the nightmare of drug and alcohol addiction, and a series of unholy and sometimes violent romance relationships. He was imprisoned several times for a gamut of crimes. But now, Steven is overjoyed to find that Jesus Christ is everything that the addictions promised, but could never deliver. Now he knows that his horrific past was necessary to give him the life he has today, having walked away from everything he ever was and ever owned to gain Christ (Phil. 3:8). By the power of total surrender, Steven is finally free, finally not trying to tell God how to do His job, and living his life in the center of God's will. Trusting God to give him back who and what He wants him to have, Steven has totally surrendered.