Book excerpt: If you can count on one thing from "Madea" Mabel Simmons, star of the smash hits Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, and Madea's Witness Protection, it's that she's got something to say. Now the beloved, sharp-tongued, pistol-packing grandmother has her own lifestyle book-part memoir, many parts hard-won, hilarious, straight-up in-your-face words of wisdom. Don't Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings is a #1 New York Times bestseller and a won a Quill Award for Book of the Year, Best Humor Book in 2006.