Book excerpt: A dressage book that references Michael Jordan, ocean liners, magnetic bottles, juke boxes, cannibalism, crop circles, Babe the Blue Ox, Mitt Romney, Dilbert, Barbra Streisand's brother, green Jello, and a further cast of thousands--it's Dressage Unscrambled Author Bill Woods has put together dozens of stories and anecdotes that elucidate, illustrate, and demystify hoary dressage principles while managing to skewer the sacred bovines--both two- and four-legged--of our sport. Read his slightly off-center takes on perennially burdensome topics like attention, self carriage, and connection. Mix in the hits and near misses of insight that a lifetime of teaching brings. Add in 40 years of weirdness gleaned from scribes, riders, teachers, and unindicted dressage co-conspirators, and you get a book that will bring a pile of smiles, a bucket of chuckles, an occasional spasmodic episode, and more than a few "I never thought of that--I'll have to go try that " moments.