Book excerpt: Pretend advice about beauty, fashion and relationships for women who are pretending to care about that stuff. While other self-help books might tell you that something is wrong with you, this book is here to tell you that everything is wrong with you. In your quest for perfection, are there things you've forgotten to worry about? Like: • Are your toes weird? I'm not saying they are, but are they? • What if you think you are thin, but you actually have a vision disorder that just makes you see yourself as thin when, in fact, you are totally not thin? Think about it! • What if whenever you go out of town your boyfriend has crazy orgies at your house? And what if all your best friends come to those orgies? Of course I can't prove it, but can you disprove it? Remember, if you were OK, there wouldn't be so many books and magazines out there devoted to helping you get prettier and be more stylish. I mean, if you think that publishers are just in it for the money, then you definitely have trust issues! How can you solve them? Please purchase this book to find out. On the other hand, you could just walk out of here without this book, thinking that you are great just the way you are... and arrive home to find that your husband has left you because of your weird toes. Good luck.