Book excerpt: Brooks Johnson's Words To Live By: When returning to Licking Thicket, TN, for the first time in ten years to reunite with your nosy neighbors, heart-broken ex-girlfriend, and matchmaking mama who never quite believed you were gay, it's best to bring a fake boyfriend as backup... Just don't be surprised when your ex-girlfriend does the same. And when her incredibly hot fake boyfriend becomes the one island of calm in a sea of bovine-based insanity, it's best to exercise caution... especially when he pushes you up against the rough barn wall to check you very thoroughly for splinters... Just don't be surprised if you fall head-over-hooves in love with him.