Book excerpt: My name is May Woodlea and I am writing hoping to begin writing my PhD the proposal for my PhD. Very soon. Soon. My name is May Woodlea and I have failed to achieve anything of significance with my life. May Woodlea is the 3 a.m. failure in us all. She is not writing the proposal for her PhD. She lives in a grotty bedsit with her long-suffering partner Jansen. She is plagued by her unforgivably cheerful younger sister Elizabeth. How will May find purpose in her life and escape the daily grind? Can May and Jansen rescue their relationship from a seeming eternity of grudge-holding, competitive tiredness, imagined slights and absolutely no sex? And what will happen when a glamorous, domineering French writer and an old flame of Jansen's come on the scene? Footnotes to Sexis a painfully funny novel about procrastination, double-chocolate biscuits, the importance of commitment and what happens in relationships when the sex isn't happening . . . 'A smart, funny and acutely observed dissection of modern love' Stella Duffy