Book excerpt: GOD HAD ME In His Hands All The Time is a true story of mental, verbal and physical abuse of a child from memory. Some of the names have been changed. Even though I am an adult, I can remember most of it like it was yesterday, while part of my mind seem to put up a shield to block out the abuse. I can feel the pressure on my brain, but it wont release it. Childens minds are very fragile thats why a good and well nurtured environment is so important during their growth. I knew God had to be carrying me like the poem Foot Prints in the Sand, because otherwise I would not have survived. I couldnt see it or understand why it was happening to me. All I ever knew was hurt and pain. The abuse scared me. Through the years I looked for love in the wrong places and in the wrong people. Growing up unloved and unwanted makes you yearn just that much harder, because you never stop looking and taking chances without thinking. Wanting to belong and loved is what food is to the body in order to survive. You always tell yourself this person will love me. Every time I put my heart out on the line it get crushed. I always found myself struggling to survive, even as an adult. I felt beat down with no self esteem. I found TRUE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE for the first time when I accepted JESUS the CHRIST in my life. I was so shocked because I was on the receiving end of love this time. Something I never had before.