Book excerpt: USA Today bestselling author Susannah B. Lewis (creator of Whoa! Susannah) is back with another hilarious take on what so many people are thinking but are afraid to say aloud. Millions of online fans have flocked to Susannah B. Lewis's hysterical, take-no-prisoners rants about her pet peeves in everyday life. Now, in How May I Offend You Today?, Lewis turns her trademark humor to ordinary events that work her nerves--from people who wear t-shirts with indecent images to public displays of affection in the plumbing aisle of Lowe's--while keeping a wry eye on herself and her own temptation to vent grievances "like a teenage girl in overalls and Birkenstocks." Weaving together anecdotes from her distinctly Southern life with frequent references to the Bible, what she calls "our manual for living," Lewis says what many of us have thought, and in the process encourages us to stand firm in our views. The witty-yet-down-to-earth banter and uplifting, inspirational message of How May I Offend You Today? gives readers everywhere the boost necessary to make it through even their most trying days.