Book excerpt: There's no wrong way to be a woman. There are countless wrong ways to be a man. James Breakwell should know. He's tried just about all of them. Journalism. Pig ownership. Felony lawn gnome theft. Whatever masculinity is supposed to be, this can't be it. But can you really fail at something no one can quite define? Apparently. Now, in a series of funny, sharply observed, and occasionally poignant essays, everyone's favorite internet-famous father of four daughters lays down a lifetime of lessons in what it means to be a man. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wonder what really happened to those creepy lawn gnomes on that deserted country road. (Spoiler alert: They're right behind you.) If you ever wanted to know how to fail at altruism, dodge the priesthood, and stumble your way into unexpected wisdom, this book is for you. How to Be a Man (Whatever that Means) presents a vision of manhood that looks very different from what you'll see on TV. And that's a good thing. Probably.