Book excerpt: The Department of Homeland Security advises all citizens to develop an Emergency Preparedness Plan, along with a Disaster Supply Kit . . . but who has the time? What will you do if Hurricane Bernadette blows ashore before you can stock up on K-rations and signal flares? Don't panic-it's Joey Green to the rescue! Last-Minute Survival Secrets contains more than a hundred ingenious survival tips that may sound quirky at first, but really do work. Green shows how to start a campfire with potato chips, open a locked suitcase with a ballpoint pen, and prevent heat stroke with a disposable diaper. Readers will learn to build a solar cooker using cardboard and aluminum foil, a flood alarm with aspirin and a clothespin, and a wi-fi antenna with a coffee can. The book is even helpful for life's everyday disasters-when a thunderstorm knocks out the power, the dog is sprayed by a skunk, or your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The book also includes interesting and goofy sidebars related to these survival tactics, fascinating trivia to keep you entertained until FEMA arrives, which may be a while. It's the perfect resource for armchair survivalists, budding MacGyvers, and adventurists on a budget. Joey Green is the author of more than 50 books, including Joey Green's Fix-It Magic, The Mad-Scientist Handbook, and Polish Your Furniture with Panty Hose. He has written for Rolling Stone, National Lampoon, Time, and more. He lives in West Hills, California.