Book excerpt: A story about Alice Kumplunkem. She's overweight, has a bad haircut, and a plus-sized chest. Still, she wants to be a movie star. Eventually she's willing to just settle for one spoken line in a movie. In her quest, and through her determination, things only go from bad to worse. Her agent sends her to New York, for a bit part on a soap opera. Though Alice blows it badly, a meltdown in the ladies loo leads to work as a head writer on a rival television soap...and then her troubles really begin...