Book excerpt: Mair/Merr hilarious jokes and anecdotes on the eternal struggle that is WEEGIES v EDINBUGGERS Ian Black has been called 'a best selling author' so many times that he is thinking of patenting the phrase and making his fortune that way, but he still wishes that he was Alexander McCall Smith or that nice blonde woman who writes about the wee laddie with the scar and the glasses, as that would mean to hell with poverty and let's throw another pea in the soup. But he still has to work and has now produced MAIR Edinbuggers Vs Weegies/MERR Weegies Vs Edinbuggers. This latest effusion is a completely new collection of anti-Weegie and anti-Edinbugger swedging, hard hits and sneaky bits from the West and East sides, sharp jibes and bludgeoning diatribes, including the slogan from a graffitti-covered wall in Glasgow's West End which avers that 'James Kelman likes fucking Edinburgh' and the one, possibly from Pilton, which claims 'Hugh MacDiarmid took sugar in his porridge'.You may find some reference to Shir Sean and the reason that he chose to support Celtic rather than Hearts or Hibs*, and you will find a list of things that you will never see in Edinburgh, but which have been personally observed by the author in the streets of Glasgow, starting with a Muslim woman in the full chador, Iranian Abaya-style, eyeslit only, pulling said eyeslit down so that she could blow a big bubble with her gum to amuse her toddler. But it is just friendly rivalry really, isn't it? To use the double positive negative, a figure of speech unique to Scotland: Aye, right. * It's because, as the Weegies so artlessly say: "He's a Fenian b******".