Book excerpt: Ever wished there was a book about some of the weirdest and most disturbing stories in the Bible that was also hilarious to read? You've found it. It turns out, there's a lot of strange stuff in the Bible, and this book takes a tongue-in-cheek look at all of it. Approximately 80 percent of Americans admit they haven't read the Bible. If they did, they'd be pleasantly surprised by its impressive quantity of sex and poop jokes. David danced naked. Noah was basically a moonshining hillbilly. Ezekiel baked poop bread. Herod was eaten by worms. Jesus cursed a fig tree, just to prove he could. Mark went streaking. Hosea married a prostitute. Lot was date-raped by his own daughters. This unique book: Combines humor and education to give better insight into some of the strangest parts of the Bible Organized by topic (poop, genitalia, weird violence, prostitution, gratuitous nudity, seemingly pointless miracles, and other fun stuff) Is a thoroughly researched (really!), reverent, and insightful look at the best-selling book in history Makes a perfect gift for pastors and white elephant parties From Elisha, who loosed homicidal bears on some kids because they called him bald (it's a long story), to the story of Ehud, who gets away with assassinating a tyrannical king because his servants think said king is taking a dump (also a long story), this book examines and casts new light on some of the Bible's stranger moments.