Book excerpt: No parent is perfect. But let’s just say some need more guidance than others. My Bad Parent is a reminder of the lesson all parents will unavoidably pass down: Do as I say, not as I do. With full-color candid photos and wry captions, this book exposes the least effective techniques for raising healthy, balanced children. It chronicles the high adventure of raising a child to adulthood, or at least until the kid can do a keg stand all by himself. My Bad Parent tackles the toughest issues in modern parenting, including: •The number of feet in the air it is permissible to launch a child •The proper size paint bucket used as a motorcycle’s sidecar •The right time to introduce a toddler to the exciting world of political extremism •What’s better for a toddler—a standard or a retractable leash?