Book excerpt: Ever been a parent? Ever known a parent? Ever had a parent? This book will slay you! If your kids haven’t already. Get ready to discover how only a finely honed sense of humor can help you navigate the most intense, absurd, and (yes) rewarding experience ever invented: parenting. You will realize that despite all of the craziness, at the end of the long, diaper-filled day, parenting rules! You are not alone in the outrageous, befuddling, occasionally humiliating experience of raising small children into larger children and then (hopefully) self-supporting adults. You will “Amen!” and laugh your way through these pages as comedian Ryan O’Quinn tells of real life scenarios that took place in his actual home with actual children. You will gain deep understanding of the “rules” of parenting such as: At some point you will sit on the toilet with a kid on your lap, Blocks of time can be measured in Cheerios, You will S-P-E-L-L things aloud to other adults when you do not need to, If you have multiple kids, they will fight over [insert any noun], Pregnancy brain never goes away—for husbands either.