Book excerpt: Just Your Average Teenage Mer-Girl The only thing that terrifies Jade more than the ocean is dancing at the Fall Formal. Because Jade has two left feet—er, flippers. Who knew being a high school freshman is even more awkward than being a plus-size aqua-phobic mer-girl? At least her only drama is of the human variety... Or not. The Mermish Council has just declared that all land-dwelling mers but return to the ocean. Pronto. But there's no way Jade is going to let her mom, or Luke, her...boyfriend? mer-guy-friend?, disappear into the deep, dark ocean. Again. After all, a girl's got to have a date to her first dance. If Jade can stop mer-mageddon, finding a plus-size dress that doesn't look like a shower curtain should be a piece of cake. Praise for Real Mermaids Don't Wear Toe Rings: "Bravo to Hélène Boudreau for hitting the bull's-eye with a fresh, affectionate, watery twist on a classic, coming-of-age story."—New York Journal of Books "The author keeps the suspense high...while tapping straight into young teens' angst about friends, enemies, and boys."—Kirkus Reviews