Book excerpt: Tim Phelan is a confident, twenty-one-year-old college graduate who is determined to build his future on two solid pillars: meeting the woman of his dreams, and earning a financial fortune. Three months after he lands a job that promises to put him on the fast track to luxury-home ownership and country-club living, Phelan's plans begin to unravel: his brain and digestive tract seem to have entered into a diabolical conspiracy, and they appear hell-bent on destroying his ambitious plans, his confidence, and so much more. Set amid the rigid expectations of a polite society where mentioning bodily functions is taboo, this tragically hilarious memoir chronicles one man's desperate quest to conceal and conquer irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). Follow the offbeat odyssey of this buttoned-down bachelor as he struggles to navigate the high-pressure world of investment banking and the image-conscious San Francisco dating scene before he becomes a penniless hermit.