Book excerpt: "AUTHOR'S NOTE: This book is unconventional. A self-conscious experiment in form that draws together two vernaculars: anthropological thought and the pop culture of my youth. It is a fraught exercise. I write as a White guy about angst and alienation in the privileged spaces of anthropology and higher education. I appreciate the irony. I hope nonetheless that my experiences with and critical perspectives on social conventions, the culture of liberalism, and ableism in academia might be useful. I seek to expand possibilities of anthropological representation while challenging epistemological, aesthetic, and professional norms in my discipline. It bothers me that anthropology can be so sanctimonious. I take aim at the ableist conceit that anthropologists are non-characters studying a messy world. Much of my life has been a mess. My work has been undertaken amid struggles with pregnancy loss, bipolar disorder, and drug addiction. I have deep regrets about my participation in an exploitative field. I have deep regrets about many things. I have hurt people and been hurt by people. I hope my stories and reflections add to what others have already written about a more open, honest, and self-deprecating anthropology"--