Book excerpt: Should I be upfront with someone I'm interested in that I'm ace or aro? How do I get people to respect my boundaries around intimacy? What if I don't want intimacy at all? It is selfish to pursue a relationship if I don't want romance? These questions are not only a source of deep anxiety and frustration for ace and aro people - but limit the heights that ace and aro folks believe they can reach for in their lives. These questions make us believe that we should settle for less, when in fact we all deserve more. Whether we're talking about friendships, romantic relationships, casual dates or casual intimate partners, this guide will help you not only live authentically in your ace and aro identity, but joyfully share it with others.