Book excerpt: Every weekend from August through January, 25 million Americans plop into their Lay-Z-Boys, crack open a beer, and watch football on television. At last, here is an illustrated book that celebrates their pastime and codifies their culture of extreme devotion like no other. The Armchair Quarterback Playbook is both hilarious and authentic, and is designed like a real football playbook—complete with modified X and O diagrams. Everything a stay-at-home fan needs to know is here: how to redirect an interfering spouse ("The Listen and Respond Fake"), methods for keeping children at bay ("Intentional Grounding), equipment and etiquette tips, game food recipes, armchair quarterback vernacular, and more. Written by a certified "AQ," this is the perfect book for the football fanatic.