Book excerpt: So, you think you want a pet dog? How perfectly ordinary. What's so great about dogs, anyway? They're dirty and needy and, well, just plain uninteresting. If you're looking for a pet that will really turn heads, then look no further than the stuffed duck. Now, I know you might be thinking, "Hey, I don't know the first thing about taking care of a stuffed duck." But let's be real: Do you really know the first thing about taking care of a dog, either? Besides, the fact that you probably know nothing about taking care of a stuffed duck is precisely why two very nice stuffed duck experts decided to write and illustrate this guidebook, which happens to be the definitive guide to stuffed duck care. Everything you need to know about choosing, feeding, grooming, and playing with your stuffed duck can be found in these eight chapters. So what are you waiting for? Learn more about how you can be the best stuffed duck owner ever! (Parental permission suggested.)