Book excerpt: The Sports Page As You've Never Seen It Before From painfully obvious steroid revelations to sex scandals and superstars who announce trades in over-the-top TV specials, the wide world of sports can often seem too ridiculous for words. Well, attention sports fans: In The Ecstasy of Defeat, the editors of The Onion offer the laugh-out-loud funny and long overdue lampoon of sports culture you've been waiting for. Filled with the very best of The Onion's bench-clearing sports coverage, this book includes such classics as: Lip-Reading BCS Computer Kills Officials Who Want To Shut It Down Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone Who Has Ever Watched Baseball. Report: Cheap Chinese NBA Players Falling Apart After A Few Seasons. Barbaro's Doctors: "A Horse This Good You Don't Eat All At Once." Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad. No topic escapes the satirical slap of America's Finest News Source, and the book covers not only mainstream sports--such as baseball, basketball, and football--but also lesser sports, sports culture, and special events like the World Cup and the Olympics. Featuring all the players, teams, and sports we love--and love to hate--The Ecstasy of Defeat is a must-read for sports nuts and Onion fans alike.