Book excerpt: A very personal quest for a perfect state of contentment. The next logical step? Suicide. A disturbed young man shuffles through life with only one thing on his mind. To end his life. But there is a mission to accomplish first. This is to make his life as perfect as possible. However, it will not be easy. A bitterly unhappy childhood, where he suffers a cruel violent father, an ambivalent mother and a murderous younger sister, who may or may not be imaginary, sees him institutionalised. Life as an adult only serves to add to his problems. Unable to settle down in any of a number of jobs, he eventually falls in with a group of young people who murder strangers for fun. From this most unlikely of settings the mist gradually begins to lift as he achieves both comradeship and love from within the gang in a particularly unique way. Is that perfect state of contentment finally within his grasp? The young man narrates his own story.