Book excerpt: a parody Spiraling debt! Unemployment! Regulations! Bailouts! Gun control! The End of Times! America is in desperate need of a good teabagging. And whether you're an angry conservatice patriot or a godless wussy liberal dirty poopy socialist, The Tea Party Guide to Being a Real American will give you the balls to do it. This book has the answers. Answers to questions like, Why did Jesus write the Constitution? This secret knowledge was given by God to the author, Roland Boyle, as he traveled America from rally to gun show, holding prayer meetings in public buildings and drinking heavily. So you know it's all true especially the SEX chapter. But don't take this book's word for it! Listen to what other Real Americans aren't saying: "This book is damp from me squirting hot patriotic tears of joy and possibly rage all over it." Glenn Beck *** "I'd like to shoot this book in the face." Dick Cheney *** "This is a book which is made of paper and has information in it also." Sarah Palin® Be a Real American. Buy this book.