Book excerpt: “Lays out a plan for parents to enjoy themselves and not be slaves to their children while still offering their kids a warm, nurturing environment.” —Publishers Weekly Parents were here first! How did the kids suddenly take control? Sure the world has changed from the days when children were supposed to be seen and not heard but things have gotten a little out of hand. What about some quality time for the grownups? Author Christie Mellor’s hilarious, personal, refreshing, and actually quite useful advice delightfully rights the balance between parent and child. In dozens of short, wickedly funny chapters, she skewers today’s parental absurdities and reminds us how to make child-rearing a kick. With recipes, helpful hints, and illustrations, this high-spirited book is the only book parents will really need—and enjoy. Includes chapters on: Screaming: Is It Necessary? Bedtime: Is Five-Thirty Too Early? Child Labor: Not Just for the Third World! “Children’s Music”: Why? . . . and much, much more “Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face . . . The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (‘a disease’) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it—with lots of alcohol.” —Chicago Sun-Times